A Question that Stress Me Out ......:(

It's was a lovely rainy night,   I had hoped the fact that I was so physically and  mentally drained from work would help me put aside the things on my mind and heart and allow me to sleep but that was not the case.

Still remembered my friend came with a big hope for her MLM plan last week, and I  did not get involved after her first presentation. Whew… That’s a lot to remind, in any business venture of MLM, that is  invest money to make money. I told her I don’t want too wrap up in MLM,  I don’t want all of my friends, family and students become potential recruits and sources of my income.  She said I am underestimate the power of  my mind,  she said I am underestimate the power of making a difference! Then she asked What do you want in your  life? Are you going to be a  belly dance teacher  in 5 or 10 years ?

OMG…. it stresses me out  and I hate to answer!  I  seriously considered sticking it out a few more hours last night but just had no energy left.  I am feeling somewhat confused about where my life was heading. It’s a question I don’t think I  should bother answer in the first place. Why? Because I fall into the trap that I can’t answer that question.  The trap is  I need to make big life decisions before I can start doing anything. The trap is I  need to be born with a passion. And the lie that being able to combine my interests and develop  my  profession is easy. In all honesty, My journey record shows that my passions changed considerably through the years, although not considerably great, but I have never hesitated to take on a challenge. I believe concentrated effort for the next four or five years could definitely make my dream come truth! 

These days it feels like every part of my life is impacted by dance. I pretty much eat, live and breathe it and a lot of actions that I don't even account for reflect the choice to focus on that. Yippe… I should  thankful for the meeting, It's an opportunity to refresh and refocus on what  I  really want. I prefer feeling thankful that I have another day on this earth to experience life, to live with meaning and love, to appreciate what I have and appreciate the day as an opportunity.

I felt like I need to push myself to work hard and make up my big decision for next year.  On the other hand, I feel like I'm accomplishing some stuff – 2011 will be eventful year! So I am super motivated when I organize my last event! I  feel a little more strongly that it is  it is time to be serious about  things. Whether I am intend to work in a job or a dance  business makes no difference. I am  the CEO need to know how to connect my  passions with serving other people.  In ten years,  I may have gone through them all with a completely different passion, who knows?